Bells
by Mistress Zipper
Summary: Kakuzu and Kisame are having a talk at the bar after Kakuzu's wedding. Rated for sexual themes/mentions and swearing. Oneshot.


Bells

"I never thought of you of the type of man who'd get married, Kakuzu," Kisame said in his hoarse tone, tequila in his hand, ready to take the drink, "Let alone to a beautiful woman like Hidan." All he heard back was a chuckle.

Kakuzu downed his shot, and then looked back at his lovely wife; "To tell you the truth, Kisame," he said, turning to his blue-haired friend with a smirk, "I'm actually gay. Well, bi at least, but a preference to males."

He looked confused for a second, but noticing that Kakuzu had only had one shot of tequila, and he knew the man could hold his liquor from so many years of knowing him, he wasn't drunk, which only left that he was really serious about this. Kisame glanced over to Hidan, and arched a brow. "And you married a-"

"Man. I married a man," pouring another bit of the tequila into his empty glass, he passed the bottle to Kisame, who took it almost hungrily. "Hidan's been hiding it all of his life; I met him at a basketball tournament in college, and he looked very girl-like in the stands, and he got very shy when I was around - turns out he was really turned on at that point, and his boner kept trying to show itself through his jeans. I asked him out, and he got a little nervous, but said yes."

Kisame had finished off his shot, and started to pour his next one; Kakuzu waited to down his, until Kisame was going to, and that would be his last shot for the evening - he wasn't going to get drunk, oh no. Not tonight. "So what happened on the first date?" Kisame asked, lifting his drink.

Kakuzu downed his, and then reached up and pulled back his hair, "We went to go see a movie. I only figured out recently that Hidan was a man."

"Like, when? When did you find out?"

"... 4 months ago?" his mouth twisted in confusion, "Maybe 5."

"Holy shit," Kisame said, astounded, "You two have been dating for 4 years! You guys hadn't had sex?"

"I was surprised I'd even last that long without sex," Kakuzu murmured quietly, "But no, we didn't. We finally did around when I said... he warned me. He started crying and shit when I took off his shirt..."

"Were you surprised?" Kisame asked, his interest piqued.

"Of him being male?" Kakuzu inquired back; slowly, he pursed his lips, "No, not unusually so. When I saw his _penis_, yeah. A little freaked there for a second, and then Hidan started to bawl; I couldn't help but just hold him close, y'know?"

"... A little," Kisame said, grabbing the tequila bottle and rejecting his cup, just drinking out of the bottle, "But not completely. What did you guys do exactly? Did you...?" with a disgusted face, Kisame's eyes shifted from Hidan back to Kakuzu, and then made another face.

Not getting it at first, Kakuzu blinked; after another moment, he replied with an "Oh!" and shut his mouth into a fine line, "No... No, Kisame. Not _that_ time, at least. I mean-!" at the sound of chimes, Kakuzu looked around, seeing people eying him. He sighed, "I'll be right back." He got up, large stature finally resuming. He strode over to his lovely bride, the feminine-looking male blushing as he stood up from his chair, those purple eyes thirsty, Kakuzu could tell. But thirsty for what?

Hidan reached up to his lover's face, holding his jaw delicately in his soft palms, his manicured nails lightly brushing against his earlobes and parts of his neck; Kakuzu was pulled down into a sweet, yet sloppy kiss, where Hidan was dominating - for once. Subtly, Kakuzu nibbled on the inside of his wife's lip, and then pulled away, smiling. He grabbed the back of Hidan's leg and dipped him low, his other arm wrapped around his lower back, the other direction, kissing him again. People cheered, and he gave his new 'wife' a kiss on the nose. "Back to the party, love."

"Of course," Hidan purred, eyelids drooping and violet irises glancing over his tuxedo-ed husband, "... Of course," he murmured dreamily.

Kakuzu lifted him back up and wandered back over to Kisame, not without visiting a few people at a few of the tables, including his parents and his new mother-in-law and sister-in-law. He sat in the chair he was previously seated in. "Ah, where were we now?"

"Sex between you and your new wife," the fishy-looking man stated delicately.

"Oh, yes," Kakuzu smirked, "Just recently, about a month ago, when he finally started going around shirtless in the house, we did. He finally was comfortable enough to pee in front of me, so I guess it was just about time before the wedding."

"A month? Out of four years, only a month ago you had sex?" Kisame was dumbfounded. He gestured to the bartender to get him more alcohol, with more alcohol content. "Vodka would do nicely. Vodka and orange juice."

"Correct," the newly-wed male pulled back his dark hair and finally decided to down his shot, "Fucked like rabbits, I'm telling you."

Kisame's eyes went a little wider, and he looked at the bartender, "Hurry up!" he snapped.

"Just fast, painful, _wonderful_ sex, every night, morning and lunch break," Kakuzu smiled, leaning in closer and whispering to him maliciously, "Ah, he was like a good meal, perfect proportions, filled up to the brim. He was so tight, it makes my mouth water just thinking about him under me, writhing and sweating –"

Kisame barked, eyes wide, "BARTENDER!"


End file.
